Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
