just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
