i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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