Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
