I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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