i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
