Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
