the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
