Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
