I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
