grandma shit on top of the toilet
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I got inside last night via doggy door
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
