They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
