It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
