watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
