Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
