So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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