Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
