my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
