Can Purell be used as lube?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
