we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
