I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
