So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
