Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
