i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
