You're so nebulous sometimes
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
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