oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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