Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
