1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
