What did we do last night that was yellow?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
