I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Randomize
