You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Shame - the story of my life.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
