Grow some girl-balls and come out already
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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