last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Let's get the cat blown out
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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