My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
home. puking in laundry basket.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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