just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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