The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
