so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Randomize
