there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
