I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Sober January is a disaster.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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