Screwed.edu
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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