She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
