I feel like I'm in dance class right now
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
you traded sex for a burrito?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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