and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
