bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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