I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
