there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
