he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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