he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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