I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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