It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
