On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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