I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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