im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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