I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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